Soaking it all in …
Narrated on Substack
Enneagram Four-style
So far, 2025 has invited me to soak into the new year with reflection, gratitude and a sense of peace that has stilled me into hibernation. As a four on the Enneagram, I am naturally wired to go inward. Instead of the coffee dates I normally schedule with friends and colleagues I want to get to know better, I have been brewing solo cups of Stronger Girl and soaking into spaces (both internally and externally) where creativity swirls among the comfort of opposites … like heat in the cold … and silence among the chaos.
Last weekend, I sank into a hot tub and watched the sun rise through snow-covered trees. It was zero degrees outside. Zero! It was a national holiday in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. It was also inauguration day. My news feeds were flooded. My mind, however, was stilled.
I had hosted a sleepover for my 17-year-old daughter’s birthday the night before in this beautiful cabin – the site where I’ll host as many (or more) women in February for the Stronger Girl Path to Purpose Enneagram Retreat. I sat there in the 104-degree water, ignoring my phone, with the peace of another successful birthday party under my mama belt, resisting the exhaustion and sleep-deprived thoughts my body was suggesting after just five hours of sleep. The stillness spoke louder than the aftermath of a sleepover or the ignored news feeds. Its voice pulled me into the steady rhythm of the snow blowing off the trees in the distance.
I was in my #4 Enneagram happy place -- where creativity meets the satisfaction of orchestrating a meaningful experience … where individuality shines like the sun through the trees … where I have permission to just be inside my head, and inside this hot tub.
It took me four years to discover I was a “four.” This is the first January since 2020 where I’ve offered myself grace instead of reluctance to sink into myself. What I’ve discovered about how I’m wired through my exploration of the Enneagram has offered me a greater perspective of why I think and act the way I do. And perhaps most importantly, it’s invited me to consider how others might be wired to think differently. That sounds simple, but I’m telling ya, the path to really embracing that has had several detours. When you dive into the Enneagram and discover more about yourself and others, the path toward your own purpose in this world becomes a little clearer and more straightforward.
As the steam swirled around me and the cold threatened to steal my joy, I sank deeper into the water of that hot tub and imagined the retreat and the potential it offers other women to sink into their own unique Enneagram-ness. Eventually, the sounds of teenagers feasting on fresh fruit and donuts in the kitchen pulled me out of the hot tub. I reluctantly emerged from my mental vacation and grabbed a towel. The chill of the near-frozen fabric was no match for the heat coming off my body, which left a trail of fog along the path to the patio door. When I opened it, the girls looked up wide-eyed and one of them proclaimed, “Your hair is frozen!” I reached up to feel ice crystals along the nape of my neck. “You’re right it is,” I said, smiling at the bed-headed beauties looking back at me curiously, some with what I interpreted as admiration, others whose attention immediately went back to their phones. Another birthday in the books, I thought. Counting my older daughters’ birthdays, this would be the 53rd such celebration I oversaw as a mother. Yes, I had earned that hot tub experience. Yes, I love being a mother. Yes, knowing how I’m wired has helped me become better at mothering.
If you’re interested in discovering more about how you’re wired – and taking a dip in this hot tub too, considering joining me and Certified Enneagram Coach Diana Cahill the weekend of February 21-23, 2025 for the STRONGER GIRL PATH TO PURPOSE ENNEAGRAM RETREAT. Along with my hosting partner, bluegrasstays.com, we’re offering an escape in two beautiful cabins between Louisville and Lexington, Kentucky where gals can sink into discovery and gain a better understanding of how our core motivations can help guide us toward our purpose in the new year.
Make it stand out
“The discovery of my Enneagram number is one of the most important paths I've traveled toward healing and growing in the last several years.” — Stacy Smith Rogers
WATCH THE VIDEO INTERVIEW WITH STACY + DIANA
What's your enneagram superpower? (We all have one!) Listen in as Certified Enneagram Coach Diana Cahill and I discuss why understanding the Enneagram and how you're wired can help guide us toward healthier relationships.
Copyright 2025
Architectural photos provided by Baird Dunsmore.